Divorce can be one of the most challenging emotional experiences a person can go through. Maybe second only to the death of a loved one, divorce is pretty high up there on life’s list of stressful events. Like the death of a loved one, if the you did not want the divorce, there is also a time of mourning the loss of other person, the relationship and your hopes for the future of the relationship. If you are faced with a divorce or separation that you did not ask for, you may be looking for ways in which you can process the loss and move on. We do not expect that in the space of a single blog post we can help you sort through all of the pain and disappointment of divorce. We can, however, share some tips and encouragement as you move through a painful season of life and move on to the next.
Facing the loss
Feel those strong emotions as they come up throughout the divorce process. Emotions are persistent. You can go ahead and try to bury them or deny them, but at some point, they will have their say, so you might as well face them and get on with it. Being honest about how you feel is the first step to healing.
Facing your fears
Everything is changing and that can be scary. Your life looks nothing like it once did. People do not seem to treat you the way they once did. Fear, sadness and depression can cause you to want to hide away from the world. It is perfectly fine to grieve the loss of your marriage, your spouse and your dreams, but burying yourself in a well of sadness because you are afraid of facing life now is unhealthy. Find someone to talk to about the strong emotions you are feeling and about the fear that is coming up. Change can be scary and it can be good all at the same time.
Letting go of the past
This is easier said than done, but you will not be able to move on with your life while you are wallowing in the pain of the past. Talk to a therapist or a trusted member of the clergy so that you will have someone who will set aside time to give you the gift of undivided attention. Do not try to be brave and soldier on alone. You are suffering from the pain of the loss of one of the most significant relationships in your life. You will want to vent, ask questions, receive guidance, and yes, even sympathy for your pain. All of that is meant to get you to a place where you are ready to release the past so that it does not continue to cause you pain in the future.
Forgive the past and let it go. Create a plan for your new life so that you will have something exciting to look forward to. Take the lessons you learned from the end of your marriage and grow from them so that you do not repeat the same mistakes in the future. Find a new circle of acquaintances, try some new activities and start creating new memories for yourself.
Healing from a separation or divorce is not an easy process. Do not let all of that grief and pain go to waste. Use it to inform better choices in the future.
At Taylor Jones Taylor, we help clients move forward. If you are considering a divorce, or need comprehensive and practical counsel, our Southaven divorce lawyers are here to help you. To reserve a consultation at our office, please call 662.253.5193 or fill out our contact form. We are proud to assist clients in Southaven, Hernando, Olive Branch and the surrounding areas.